Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
