Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
