I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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