Already got asked if we're dating
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
