Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
