I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
