Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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