I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
