Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
