just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
