So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you told grandpa to call you daddy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
