dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
