btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT