were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal