TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza