Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

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  (604): My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't. http://tfl.nu/nrau
  Replies (13) Good night (1672) Bad night (3955)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.

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  (847): I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night. http://tfl.nu/upkg
  Replies (25) Good night (10615) Bad night (1259)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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  (814): I wasted some perfectly good semen on her http://tfl.nu/b11w
  Replies (17) Good night (1100) Bad night (5184)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.

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  (678): Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid. http://tfl.nu/c97u
  Replies (14) Good night (4154) Bad night (1759)
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  (530): View more from California

  And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?

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  (530): And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion? http://tfl.nu/zsah
  Replies (6) Good night (2012) Bad night (1111)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

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  (602): Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public. http://tfl.nu/i8al
  Replies (10) Good night (1109) Bad night (1950)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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  (518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9
  Replies (4) Good night (1197) Bad night (584)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"

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  (573): He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut" http://tfl.nu/oeuu
  Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (544)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid

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  (406): Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid http://tfl.nu/t6fb
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (606)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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  (203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c
  Replies (10) Good night (2183) Bad night (638)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  You went over didnt you?

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  (210): He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with (1-210): You went over didnt you? http://tfl.nu/ykhn
  Replies (5) Good night (1080) Bad night (723)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .

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  (956): Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . . http://tfl.nu/ha2v
  Replies (11) Good night (660) Bad night (1543)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

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  (727): You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car http://tfl.nu/u1q1
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (318)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck you, my tits are fabulous

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  (507): Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch? (1-507): Fuck you, my tits are fabulous http://tfl.nu/jvov
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (368)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen

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  (512): The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen http://tfl.nu/mpbb
  Replies (2) Good night (147) Bad night (301)

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