I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
