she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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