Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize