Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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