ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
