so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
