His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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