If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
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I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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