dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize