my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
