Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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