Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
