Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
