Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
