Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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