ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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