I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i think my cat just said my name.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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