There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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