what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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