HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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