My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
