I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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