in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
