What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
