talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
