Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
