ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize