Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to make out with him forever
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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