do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
