just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
