I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
