So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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