i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
