i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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