she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria