i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
