How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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