I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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