I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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