I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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