The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You're like the curious george of whores
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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