Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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