Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
