Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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