I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
