I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
